I Can Eat Anything.

Well, it's true.  I never would have thought I'd get to this point two months ago.  Suddenly, on the 20th, just one day past my two month mark, I realized that I can eat anything-pizza, popcorn, pretty much anything.  What I learned pretty quickly, though, is that just because I CAN eat anything, it doesn't mean that I can DIGEST everything.  So, yeah, I've been going through some dumping. 

The first time, it was kind of minor.  It felt like someone was stabbing me in the left side of my stomach over and over.  The feeling eventually passed, and I knew I wouldn't eat that food again.  Christmas was pretty rough on me, too.  Not because of an over abundance of foods.  My inlaws can't cook their way out of a kitchen.  Everything served was either chock full of sugar (cookies) and I wouldn't touch it, or dry (cheese, turkey, rolls).  So, I was there for about 5 hours not eating.  Then on the way home, we stopped at a Wawa to fill up on gas and get me something to eat.  Choices being limited, I picked out what I thought would be a decent meal for me-packaged cheese, grapes, and pita crackers.  I also wanted to try out a soft pretzel.  I ate all the cheese and grapes and a couple of the crackers and two bites of the pretzel.  I realized pretty quickly that the pretzel wasn't going to work, so I gave the rest to the kids.  I sat back in the seat, while Love of My Life drove us home.  Next thing I knew, I was dizzy, nauseous, exhausted, freezing and hot.  My entire middle hurt like I was being stabbed with a hot iron over and over in multiple places.  I thought I was dying.  Love of My Life kept asking if he should pull over, but I didn't want to move, so I kept being vague.  Fortunately, my son asked him to stop at the next rest stop for a restroom break.  After sitting parked for a few minutes, I decided that I wanted to see what would happen if I stretched out standing up.  Love of My Life had Oldest Daughter go with me, so if I did, in fact, pass out, she could let him know.  After taking about ten steps, I knew I was going to throw up.  The question became, was I going to get to the restroom in time.  The answer was no.  I found a garbage can on the way and emptied my stomach.  I got to the bathroom and emptied my stomach in the toilet.  I came out to wash my hands and it was as if nothing had happened.  No more soft pretzels, I guess.

I had researched quite a bit pre-operatively about everything, so I knew what dumping was.  Having experienced it both in a minor and major way, I have to say it's incentive to not eat the wrong foods.  I've been saying all along that I can eat pizza every day for the first 18 months and still lose weight, but after that 18 months, I'll start gaining everything back.  So, these 18 months are my training to eat correctly.  Yes, I can eat anything.  Do I want to?

Lack of Desire

So, I'm sure that anyone who is trying to lose weight or has tried will think this is a ridiculous concern, but try to understand it is a concern.  I have no desire to eat or drink.  I don't feel hungry.  I'm just eating because, apparently, I'm quite the crank when I don't.

Yesterday, I was eating a perfectly acceptable lunch of turkey wrapped around half a slice of Swiss cheese.  I make them so they are tightly rolled.  I cut them into the required pea sized bites and dip my fork into some Greek yogurt for additional protein.  I've been having two of these when I make them.  Half way through the first one, all I kept thinking was that I really didn't want to have to finish what was left.  After finishing the first one, I just stared at the second one, trying to will myself into eating it.  Instead, I wrapped it up to bring home.

My diet team wants me to ingest 60 g of protein every day.  I try really hard to make that happen.  To ensure that it does, I often skip my strawberry kiwi water and have a protein shake.  Since I'm at work, it became too cumbersome to cart my blender with me, so I started taking the Special K protein drink.  That worked for a while.  Now, I just can't be bothered to drink that, either.  I just don't have the desire.

I'm going to get to a scale today to find out just how much I've lost.  While losing weight is a nice side effect, that wasn't the reason for the surgery.  However, after the snide thought-free comments of some family members, I need a little emotional boost.

I made the burger bites again.  This time, I used a different onion and a little less meat.  They were still delicious.  I went to PF Changs over the weekend.  The black bean chicken is really really moist.  That worked out well.  We went there with Oldest Friend and her family after her youngest child's ballet performance.  All the kids had a wonderful time.  I can't ever remember not enjoying myself with Oldest Friend.  Still, I didn't desire any of the food.  I just ate a little because I knew the drive home was long and would be exceptionally dangerous without eating.

I'm guessing I just have to power through this.  It's what I do.

Fresh Starts

I have a couple new fresh starts happening to me.

I saw the surgeon. (I'm having flashes of Weird Al)  In the past 6 weeks I've lost 42 pounds.  This is not at all the easy way.  I'm being incredibly careful eating the right foods and the right portions making sure I don't drink and eat within 30 minutes of each other.  The doctor is very pleased with himself, so I'm fairly certain I'm healing well.  Any time a doctor is pleased with himself things HAVE to be well.

I was given the all ok to start exercising.  My fab office mate took me to the basement of our building and showed me the gym, how to unlock it, and how to use the machines on Monday.  On Tuesday, I slid into a change of clothes after lunch and got started.  I almost lasted 4 minutes on the elliptical machine and 11 on the treadmill.  That kicked my ass.  I was so tired and sore.  I had to be very careful and start slow.  I went ahead on Wednesday and did it again.  Now, my legs just ache.  It's a weird ache.  The pain started on Tuesday in the back, and somehow overnight moved to the front.  The fab office mate told me that she was very proud of me for going.  How can I not keep going, now??

I started cooking.  I tried one recipe from eggface and one from bariatric foodie. The baked-non-fried chicken strips seemed promising, but I just couldn't tolerate them.  I'm learning sooner when to stop eating something that does not agree with me.  I took the eggface recipe for burger bites and adjusted it to my families tastes, which means minus the peppers and minus the three types of onions.  I just made them with ground beef, one small onion, shredded swiss cheese, and lots of eggs mixed it all together and baked them in a mini muffin pan.  They were a-mah-zing!!  Even the fam liked them.  They're easy to reheat, too!

I'm trying to decide what the next degree is going to be.  My benefit kicks in next month.  I can't say no to a free degree...I just don't know which direction to go in...more on that later.